QUIT USING YOUR CHILDREN AS AN EXCUSE

QUIT USING YOUR CHILDREN AS AN EXCUSE

Potential clients often say that they cannot file bankruptcy or give up their home or car because of the children. Are you really saying that you would rather be constantly struggling to make your monthly payments, give up your dreams or have a family that is unhappy to keep a house or car?

You can pretend that the reason you are doing something is for the children, but, the real reason is not what you are saying. The truth is that you are embarrassed about what others may say. You are afraid that someone will laugh at you. What will other people say about you.

The first thing you must do when you are trying to succeed at anything is decide to go all the way. Henry Ford did not build cars hoping to be successful. He was not going to let fear of what others might say about him deter him from his goal.

What is your goal when it comes to your children?

That they grow up to be good people with high standards. Children do not need to have a fancy house to learn this.  They need to see someone (their parents) show them what standards are.  Standards are not taught by a neighborhood, they are taught by parents.  We have all been in a restaurant where the children are running wild, whinning, begging or otherwise being a poor citizen.  Wait, it is the parents who are the poor citizens.   Bad children come from all neighborhoods, social levels, race or creeds.  Teaching the tough lessons is what makes for good parents.  It is easy to ignore the child in the restaurant.

That the children do well in school. Every year, there are children from poor backgrounds, middle class backgrounds and rich backgrounds that do well in school. The house or other thing does not cause this to happen. The parents are what causes the children to excel.

That children will want to succeed. How can a child want to succeed if they do not see you try? If you settle for a life that is less than what you want, what do you expect your child to do? Children follow their role models. What is the role model you are showing to your child?

That children reach for the stars. If what your children have seen from you is that you settle rather than reach, what will they do. Is what you teach your child  is to take the safe route or the best route?

That your children not be controlled by what their friends say or do. Your child comes to you and says all the other kids are ____________.  Did  you set the standard for the child by showing the child that you will do what is best for them.  It does not matter what others say or think.  How can your child learn not to be afraid of what others say or think when you are so afraid of what others may say that you let people control your life.

What lesson do you want your child to learn?

Bankruptcy may not be pleasant and giving up your home or car is not either. Bankruptcy may be the only option to allow you to start your life over. Is your home a happy place when you are constantly worrying about bills and trying to come up with the next payment? When you are working two jobs, never seeing your children?  The role model you are supposed to be presenting to your children is not at home.  If you are not there, who is teaching and what is being taught to your child?

About Nathan Davis, Esquire

Born in Charleston, South Carolina, Nathan Davis has been practicing law for many years. Mr. Davis has a wide variety of experiences having practiced domestic relations, criminal law, social security law having also practiced collection law in the past. This knowledge is helpful when someone needs to restart their financial life. The practice is now primarily bankruptcy and debtor representation work, but, Mr. Davis continues to also practice real estate law, trusts and estates and a general litigation practice. I believe that the most important part of representation is trying to leave you better off when the case is finished than when you started. Although I will do as my client directs, I will always tell you if I think that you are making a mistake. Bankruptcy is about a "fresh start". If you do not make changes in what you are doing, you will be doing what you are doing now in the future. There is no shame in bankruptcy or other steps that you may take to start your life over. Too often, people worry more about things than about themselves, their family or their future.
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