HOW BANKRUPTCY AND DEATH BED REQUESTS NO ONE MAKES ARE SIMILAR PART 5 OF 5 “ARE YOU TOO HAPPY?”

BANKRUPTCY AND DEATH BED REQUESTS ARE RELATED, BUT HOW?

The decisions that you make about filing bankruptcy, what property to keep and how your life is going to look in the future is going to be determined, in part, by what you are decide to do and what property you decide to try and keep when you file bankruptcy.

ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT WHAT OTHERS MAY SAY?

Yes, of course, you are worried about what others may say if you file bankruptcy, give up your home or your car or quit the job you hate or decide to open an ice cream shop instead of going to work at a “REGULAR JOB”.

WHAT IF YOUR DOCTOR HAS TOLD YOU THAT YOU HAVE SIX MONTHS TO LIVE?  DO YOU STILL CARE WHAT OTHERS WILL SAY?

I am always concerned about persons who are worried about what they may lose in a bankruptcy. I hold long meetings with prospective clients over whether it is really worth it to try and keep something. Before you worry about what you are going to lose or keep, ask yourself the following question as if you have just been told by your Doctor that you have six months to live and there is nothing that you can do to live one minute, day or month longer.

QUESTION NUMBER 5   ” ARE YOU TOO HAPPY?”

WHAT ARE YOU WANTING TO KEEP THAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY?

ARE YOU HAPPY AT THIS MINUTE?

WERE YOU HAPPY BEFORE THE FINANCIAL PROBLEMS BEGAN?

DID YOU ENJOY THE LIFE YOU HAD OR WERE YOU ALREADY STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEET?

CAN A HOUSE MAKE YOU LAUGH?

CAN A CAR MAKE YOU AT LEAST SMILE?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE TRULY HAPPY?

THE JOB YOU HAVE THAT MAY ALLOW YOU TO KEEP SOMETHING, DOES IT MAKE YOU HAPPY?

SO HAPPY WITH YOUR JOB THAT ALL YOU CAN TALK ABOUT IS RETIRING?

IS HAPPINESS A RIGHT OR SOMETHING YOU ONLY HOPE FOR?

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KEEP DOING THE JOB YOU ARE DOING NOW FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

Many couples are planning on having a wonderful and happy retirement. Over and over one of them dies either just before or just after the retirement day comes so they can get out from under the hated job. Dementia, Alzheimer, cancer, car wrecks, heart attacks, strokes and so many other things take away the chance to have happiness after retirement.
You keep the job you hate so you can save the house, the car or whatever you think is important now planning to be happy in the future. What happens if the future never comes or events intervene which cause the dreams, plans to never come true?
On your deathbed, will you say that I am satisfied that I kept whatever even though I was never truly happy?
I am going to be really surprised if your answer is yes. In fact, if you say your answer is yes, I will bet that you are either lying or simply insane. Happiness is not laughing all the time, but, it is having that warm feeling. In order to be happy, you have to do the following:

MY RECIPE FOR BEING HAPPY IS AS FOLLOWS:

1. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

Follow YOUR dreams, not your parents dreams, society’s dreams for you or even the dreams of your spouse or significant other. People that love you want you to be happy and the only way you can be happy is to follow YOUR dreams.

2. WORK IN MODERATION AT WHATEVER YOU LOVE TO DO

Sometimes it is hard to stop working when you love what you are doing. If you have a job and you hate it, leave your job. It takes courage to leave a job you hate, but, the choice is yours. Even if you are lucky enough to love your job, you must stop long enough to nurture and be nurtured by friends, family, your church and your community.

3. SAY WHAT YOU THINK WITHOUT FEAR OF WHO MAY HEAR YOU

Say to you family, whether a spouse, a child or even a cousin that you love them. Tell people what you feel and believe in. When you tell someone, however, do it with love. Understand and make it clear to all that you are not trying to convince anyone that you are right and the person hearing you is wrong. It is fine to not agree with someone else. Do not, however, hide your opinions so that others think that you have no opinions.

Learn to say what you think without speaking. If you must tell people that you are a good spouse, parent, Christian, Elk, Sertoman, Moose, Hindu, Muslim or atheist, then you probably are not actually what you claim to be.   If a man tells you to trust him, run away.  Honest people want everything in writing so there is no disagreement later over what the agreement actually contained.

Actions are much more important than what you say. If you are beating someone to a pulp with your fists, no one will believe that you are not a violent person.  If you appear to be sleeping, no one will believe that you are really listening.

SAY WHAT YOU THINK BY BOTH YOUR WORDS AND YOUR ACTIONS

4. HOLD YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE TO YOU AND TAKE THE TIME TO NURTURE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS SO THEY GROW AND BECOME STRONGER

Friendships and flowers must both be treated and cared for.  Friendships and flowers are growing-living things. If you do not water and feed the flowers, they will die. If you do not nurture your friendships by sharing laughter, sharing your thoughts, by making sure that your are there when your friends need you, that you let your friends support you when you are down or having problems and sharing your dreams and fears with each other then you will not have a friendship for very long.

BEING A FRIEND IS HARD WORK AND YOU MUST BE WILLING TO DO THAT WORK.  FRIENDS WILL FRUSTRATE YOU, CAUSE YOU TO GET MAD, CONFUSE YOU AND MAKE YOU ANGRY AT TIMES.   WILL YOU TAKE THE TIME AND ENERGY TO HAVE FRIENDS.

5. DO NOT SETTLE FOR NOT BEING HAPPY

Being happy is hard work, not something you should just expect to happen.
You must work at being happy. Do not be afraid to be happy. Reach out and fight to be happy. Do not allow anyone to keep you from being happy or make you unhappy. I am not saying that life is easy or that you can fall into happiness.  Reading a good book can make you happy.  Talking to someone and finding out fascinating things about other people will make you happy.   Sharing hope with others will make you happy.   People confuse happiness with many other things.  You cannot buy happiness, hold happiness, taste happiness or even smell happiness.   People then try to find happiness in a bottle, be it alcohol or drugs. People search for happiness by  jumping from relationship to relationship, but, happiness is something that is inside you. No one can put happiness in you nor can anyone take happiness out of you.

You are responsible for your own happiness. The blame or responsibility for happiness is yours and yours alone.


ARE YOU GOING TO SAY I AM SO GLAD THAT I DID NOT HAVE HAPPINESS?

ARE YOU GOING TO ASK ON YOUR DEATHBED THAT YOU NOT HAVE HAPPINESS BROUGHT TO YOU BECAUSE YOU NEVER HAD IT BEFORE?

WILL YOU BE REMEMBERED AS A HAPPY PERSON?

The rest of your life begins now.   What you decide to do is going to affect you for the rest of your life.   The minutes, days, hours, weeks, months or years once they go past you cannot be gotten back.
What are you going to do with your life and your future?  I am pretty sure you only get one life and one future.

P.S.  (Let me know if you figure out how to get more than one life.)

About Nathan Davis, Esquire

Born in Charleston, South Carolina, Nathan Davis has been practicing law for many years. Mr. Davis has a wide variety of experiences having practiced domestic relations, criminal law, social security law having also practiced collection law in the past. This knowledge is helpful when someone needs to restart their financial life. The practice is now primarily bankruptcy and debtor representation work, but, Mr. Davis continues to also practice real estate law, trusts and estates and a general litigation practice. I believe that the most important part of representation is trying to leave you better off when the case is finished than when you started. Although I will do as my client directs, I will always tell you if I think that you are making a mistake. Bankruptcy is about a "fresh start". If you do not make changes in what you are doing, you will be doing what you are doing now in the future. There is no shame in bankruptcy or other steps that you may take to start your life over. Too often, people worry more about things than about themselves, their family or their future.
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